Pot of contradictions maketh the world go round.

There were days when we were united by causes - of love, frienship, productive intelligence, heck even fun. But the common bounding factor now-a-days seems to be stagnation.

At the verge of sounding overtly sadistic here, i think it's not that bad at all. I think the model has more to do with co-existence. I think, sincerely, till the time you aren't down in the dumps, you won't really rise at all.

Take my own instance. It's been a month and a half since i quit my job. I thought that after i got out of the "corporate rut" as it's popularly known, my "true calling" would finally enlighten me and drive me off me feet. No more boring days my friend, i'm gonna live my dreams now. But even that failed. and much to my dismay, i'm as clueless about my existence than ever before.

So even after being uberly successfull at my job (atleast my bosses thought i was good), i sucked at really living out what i have been wanting to for years.

Which brings me to the stagnation as a savior. Cause i feel freedom can also be very containing. I think of all the dicussions we have on Lord Buddha's theory on non-attachement and renunciation, but we never address getting stuck in the vicious circle of being free. Because isn't being free also a limitation of sorts? I mean we get so attached to being free, that we start fighting the very thoughts/jobs/relationships that allegedly contain us. And a free man is free no more,

So where am i getting at? I guess what i'm tryin to bring to your notice is that we human beings instictively fight everything. Right from wanting to be free and actually attaining that state of mind, we lose ourselves somewhere between the right and wrongs of how it's supposed to be done. well there ain't any supposed. It's just like that.

As far as where i am now, i just finished cryin over Step Up 2: The Streets. This is cause i've always wanted to dance like that - and i'm no where near it. And self motivation is as elusive as a rainbow ending in a pot of gold. I wish there was a road map, but then again, i'm too egoistic to follow it.

Bundle of contradictions we all are. So i hope upon hope, yet again, that i'm freed from my bounds of freedom, cause trust me when i say this - my self afflicted bounds are much worse than corporate life.